Life as a 13yr old sees it

Yesterday I let Anjali read one of half written short stories and wanted her to comment on it.

She commented on the structure of the story, narration style, character portrayal and language… which were all very impressively accurate.

In the end she said that the doesn’t like the main character – The Girl.

I asked why she doesn’t like her.

Her reply was that nobody in real life is so free. Everybody’s life has a framework, definition and constraints. The Girl in my story was completely free of all these things and that’s not real/possible in the practical world.

I was quite for some time. This was the essence of my story and she was right on the spot.

I asked her after a few minutes – what would happen if The Girl decides to not acknowledge those frameworks, definitions and constraints in her life, and decides to live the way she wants. Because my Girl could do that.

She thought for a few seconds and replied.

“If The Girl decides to ignore the realities of life and live the way she wants to live, she may be happy, but she would definitely hurt people who are close to her and love her”.

I was actually speechless. And this is 13year old talking.

I have not seen many 40year olds having such an understanding of life. Most of them get stuck at ‘Independent’ phase during their growth from childhood to adolescence, and never cross over to the harmonious ‘Inter-Dependent’ phase of life.

Being Independent is being carelessness, suits well at adulthood. As you grow beyond those years, you take responsibility for your life and your loved ones. If the same thing happens from others in your life, you have harmony.

If The Girl is stuck in the “Independent” phase, and her loved ones are in the ‘Inter-Dependent’ phase, and take responsibility for her, she would definitely feel suffocation and in the end she is completely filled with complaints without even realizing how to manage life. And if she has decided that she would not even acknowledge life in its entirety, and bulldoze her way through it (figurative speech – the bulldozing is normally expressed through passive aggressiveness) the life is very difficult for people who truly love her.

Difficult relations are those, where two people are standing on the two sides of this chasm – one is trying to “independent” and “free”, and the other is trying to be “inter-dependent” and “responsible”.

I am so proud of my little Girl.

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