Its always a new beginning……
This is the first thing and the best thing I remember seeing in the note book of a friend many years back sitting in the morning bus traveling to the office together. For an ordinary boy who had grown up in a small town with very little exposure, but tons of expectations from life – that sentence became a mantra.
Till then, I was a crazy concatenation of positiveness and passiveness, high energy mixed with inhibitions, liberal ideas mushrooming in the dampness of conformity mindset….One thing was certain, though it was completely unclear till that point of time, that I had to do something big in my life. It was a natural progression for me given what my father had done in his life – coming out of his house when he was 10 years of age because he didn’t want to be daily wage worker for rest of his life and successfully struggled for the next 70 years to make a better life for his own family, his siblings and many extended families. Throughout his life he kept aspiring for far better things for himself and his family, though life kept trying to box him up at every step.
I didn’t know all this at that point of time, and that’s the reason for my confusion between the certainty of breaking out of the box life was pushing me towards and unclearness of how and whats of that un-breaking part. My father probably would have gone through the same confusion when he was trying to breakout, but I don’t think he ever figured it out. And the confusion was there for him till the end – oscillating between two very different worlds.
I didn’t want to go through my life like that. And that’s when I saw this small sentence on the notebook of my friend….at that moment I realized that I was scared of doing new things and letting go of the things I knew and I was comfortable/familiar with. This was the source of the confusion – between my thoughts and actions.
When you treat everything as a new beginning in life, then there is nothing to be uncertain about, nothing to be scared about…..at the most, one has to be ready to deal with the hard-work and just needs patience to understand the meaning of the new beginning. Most importantly curiosity to explore the new beginning to see where it leads to.
The best part about it is that its not like being reborn and starting all over again. The painful struggle of going through the process of making same/similar mistakes again will definitely kill any spirited souls. Contrary to that, new-beginnings are sweet deals in life- you get to keep all the treasures (experiences, lessons learnt, relationships built, memories, etc ) and you get to start afresh.
Nature is the best example of new beginnings and that’s the reason its a continuum and never takes any incident as a big event to stop its movement. (well, we humans may be testing the limits of that process with all our mindlessness!)
The realization I had from that one line that day removed the confusion in my mind. The combination of Clarity and Certainty has given me the Confidence to explore new beginnings in my life, and in doing so I have learnt a lot of new things, met some great people, achieved a few high goals in context of my life and have plenty of stories to tell my children and team. It also has given me an opportunity to accept myself in totality – good, bad, smart, ugly, pleasant, irritating, genuine, unbearable……and any other combination of characteristics.
All my failures, hardships and sacrifices are worth the fruits of the new beginnings.
And I am grateful to that friend who has become a permanent partner in all of those new beginnings since that point of time…
This writing is one more such new beginning.